Do I Have A Goatee?

Yesterday, while waiting for the bus, I had a terrible compulsion. There was no one around; traffic along that stretch of Mt. Auburn was clear because the lights at both ends were holding it. There was a pile of snow right next to me, left by Monday’s brief morning precipitation, and since it was near freezing, it was wet and packable. Across the street was an empty, extremely shiny and clean hearse. All the other cars parked along the street were coated in salt and sand, but it was so clean, it was screaming to be targeted. Plus, it’s a Catholic church, so that makes it okay, right?

Obviously, I didn’t actually do it. But man, that voice in the back of my head was powerful. I have to remember that, among other things, I can’t get away with that kind of childishness as a 24 year old. Mischevious ideation, or something.

Also, an observation on hearse design: the vehicle was the hearse edition of a recent Cadillac STS, the model with a very faceted front end. So it had a modern looking front, and shiny spinner-like hubcaps, but the raised hearse backend still had the scrollwork design and the fake lantern on the side. I suppose those designs date back to hearse carriages in England or something, but it’s jarring to see such an anachronistic vehicle, combining modern and traditional.


11 responses to “Do I Have A Goatee?”

  1. *laughs*

    I will mention, however, that your “evil” tag caused my brain to read your last line as “jarring to see such an anachronistic vehicle, combining evil and traditional.”

    Which, oddly enough, works.

    FMA is still rawkin’, by the way.

  2. Hearses are freaky.

  3. I live near a major cemetery and two funeral homes, so I see a lot of big funeral processions. None for me, thanks. It just seems so wasteful on a mass of inert matter. My soul’d be long gone. Plus, I’m planning on cremation anyway.

  4. Edgar Allan Poe called it the imp of the perverse.

  5. So that’s where that comes from.

  6. Penn Jillette calls this (on his radio show) the Pull Of The Weasel.

    When I first saw your subject line, I thought it said “do I have a goatse”. (If you don’t know what that means, be warned that searching for it may be disturbing, and not safe for work.)

  7. Ah, yes, I remember your post on the Weasel from a few months ago.

    And sadly, goatse has been inflicted upon me. You might remember that I briefly had a journal set up on K5; someone linked that image in a comment, listed as something else, and I was too naive to double-check the URL. If I could completely purge that image from my mind, I would. It is, however, well-suppressed.

  8. is a stream of reaction-shots of people looking at the goatse picture for the first time. is one from a co-worker. (All of these are safe for work.)

  9. I thank you, sir. That slide show made my day.

  10. how’s your dwarf rogue doing? is he still speced for arr pee?

  11. The changes in the Subtlety tree as part of the 2.0 patch were a nice Christmas present, particularly the fact that 2/2 Improved Sap is now 100% successful, which makes it a viable crowd control alternative for 5-man instances.

    But yes, I do still RP. Hit 70 on President’s Day.

Nurd Up!