Edited to add a cut for this larger-than-expected post…
My Name
Nick You’re just about everyone I know
Nicolas You’re one of my older relatives, or you’ve never met me, or you only know me in a formal context.
Variations
Nicholas You’re an idiot, or you just had my name dictated to you off of a form and you just assumed that it was spelled like the Germanic version, or you’re both. Grarr.
Nicolaa-aas!! You’re my Grandma, and I’ve just been sarcastic/made a joke you didn’t get
Nicky/Nickie You thought this was cute when I was little, as opposed to completely annoying
Nicolas Cameron! You’re my mom, and I probably just swore or something
Nicolas Cameron Ward You’ve been reading too many forms that I’ve filled out
Nico You were in one of my Spanish classes from 7th through 11th grade, or a fan of my a cappella group The Clef Notes in high school.
Nicolás You’re Señora Raths, or you’re my friend Jake
Nickie-poo You’re my sister and you’re trying to be annoying
Online
UltraNurd You know me in an online context – AIM, my website, some of my e-mail addresses, just about every forum or online game I’ve ever done…
nward You have an SCCS account
nward2 You are a Swarthmore student who actually knows my address, or the ITS person who assigned me nward2 when nward1 was available
Nurd You play Yohoho! Puzzle Pirates (http://www.puzzlepirates.com)
Nicknames
Boy You are my sister after middle school, or one of her friends from ballet class
Geek You’re my mom (my sister is Freak – we make a pair)
NicHolas You’re Ms. J, one of my high school science teachers, and you’re grading one of my assignments
Nurrrrrrd! You’re Ms. J, one of my high school science teachers, or Furious Z! (that’s Z factorial), and you’re saying hello
Nurd You’re a fellow member of NurdSquad, my friends in high school
Duke of Nurd You’re my sister (the Duchess of Dork), or you were in The Clef Notes with me
Time You were in SWIL under my co-presidency last year
Mitten!!!! You’re on SCCS staff
geek/dweeb/nerd/dork/shorty/etc. You’re mean and are trying to make fun of me, but you’re failing
Captain Nicolas Ward You were part of the Distant Thunder project (we were going to make a Star Trek movie in 4th grade, complete with Lego models)
I think that’s pretty much all of them… but I could probably come up with more if I really tried.
“Change My World” from Carmen Sandiego – Out Of This World by Johnny Nexdor & His Neighbors
Nurd Up!