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First Masterpiece

Working exclusively in the app Paper by FiftyThree, Theo is entering his abstract period.


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Limericks on Request

Inspired by Andrew’s rediscovery of the thoroughly excellent archaic word “merlimewes“, and taking a friend’s suggestion to incorporate into a limerick with a rhyme on “curlicues”, I present the following:

There once was a lady from Boston,
a city she often got lost in.
She made so many merlimewes
it put her hair in curlicues,
so none stopped for the walk she crossed in!

What, I’m an engineer, not a poet. Points for effort, right? Bonus points for pedestrian-squishing?

And yes, I do take requests.

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Spam Comment Poetry

I’ve been getting a lot of blocked spam comments, mostly from Russian IP addresses. I clear them out once a week or so, and tweak my IP address filters. You’ll probably never see them, as I block comments that aren’t from a previous poster or a verified OpenID. However, in clearing them out today I noticed a block of text that I felt inspired to reformat into a more poetic form. The credit goes to random spammer username Gefafuw (which my brain wants to read as “guffaw”, ironically enough). It appears this particular WordPress comment bot is using a very simple bigram language model.

Another Drunken Energy

Several days their meaning
muffled voice turned,
been unable
when meat is enough.

Sanity spoken aloud,
Astur attacked,
multiheaded beast.

Fruit bonus machine!
Stilled shock and direst need
until today raise their difficulty.

Have the luxury noticed
just that caribbean stud
videos another drunken energy.

Of course it makes no sense! That’s the point! :oP The raw text, with spam links removed:

Several days their meaning muffled voice duin turned been unable when meat enough sanity spoken aloud astur attacked ultiheaded beast fruit bonus machine ames duin stilled shock and direst need ntil today raise their and difficult hey have the luxury odrigo noticed just that caribbean stud videos another drunken energy

I found it an amusing distraction, at any rate :o). Have you received any particularly hilarious spam that was attempting to beat your spam filters?

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Nicolas Ward

Software engineer in Natural Language Processing research by day; gamer, reader, and aspiring UltraNurd by night. Husband to Andrle
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August 2018
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